The artificial light in the city's arboretum was dim but there was enough that Neil could find his way on the steel catwalk that snaked through the cultivated greenery. When he had left the barracks, he didn't know where he would go. Jane's words still echoed in his mind and for one of the few times in his life, he cursed his near perfect memory.

He wandered past the various types of flora until he came upon a tree with slim, drooping branches that nearly touched the ground. The lightly colored leaves were almost transparent as they fluttered in the simulated breeze.

He settled himself on the cold floor next to the steel tubing that represented a fence of sorts and wondered idly if this was all that kept people from fondling the foliage.

"You look like I feel, tree," he commented with his shoulders slumped. He craned his neck, looking for the holo-imager that told visitors what specimen they were looking at.

Although he wasn't sure of the tree's name, he knew the rules of the park very clearly. Don't touch. But he wanted to. He really wanted to. Ever since the Phantom meteor had landed, the creatures had practically descimated the planet and every living thing that called Earth home. People, animals and plants all fell victim to the alien presence. Most of the barrier cities had some type of museum for whatever species of plants and animals hadn't been forced into extinction.

Neil remembered a class trip to one very such place, back when he was still young enough to not have to worry about Phantoms. They learned about all sorts of animals that were covered in fur, or that swam in the once-beautiful, blue oceans. They even got to touch the bark of a tree. He remembered the roughness of the bark, scratchy as he ran his hand down it. The pattern of the wood, carved out by wind, water and time. Natural erosion creating a masterpiece. Solid, strong and beautiful.

Like Jane.

Disgusted with himself at his own train of thought, Neil shook his head to clear it and frowned sourly. Giving into temptation, Neil looked around, craning his neck to make sure no one could see him from any angle, even though the indoor park was practically deserted this late at night. He reached out his hand tentatively to one delicate branch.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Neil's hand stopped and he turned his head away from the voice. He'd heard enough from Jane for one night and had hoped to get whatever animosity and anger that had settled in his system, out, before their next mission. It was hard to trust someone to watch your back when you know that they despised you.

He pulled his hand back through the bars and made a point not to look over at Jane, who was standing in the entryway.

"They've got this.... forcefield around all the plants. Alarms go off. So, no touching allowed." Neil hrmph-ed to himself.

Jane's footfalls where light despite her boots and she slowly made her way to where Neil was seated. "Look, Neil... about what I said..."

"Jane. Don't, okay? Just..." Neil sighed, wanting to end whatever conversation she had intended to start. "Don't worry about it, okay? I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine. Let's just forget it ever happened and move on," he said with uncharacteristic bluntness.

Jane stood, staring down at Neil, who had still refused to look at her, with her hands on her hips. "Could you do me a favor and shut up for a second so I can say what I want to say?" she asked, sounding every bit exasperated.

"Frankly, Jane, " Neil began, finally looking up at her, "I think you've said enough already."

Jane looked wounded for a second, but recovered quickly. She defiantly stuck her chin out and held her head high, looking across the massive gardens. Neil went back to looking at his shoe, picking at the rubber sole.

Quiet seconds ticked by with neither one saying anything. Jane moved to lean against the steel fencing, looking in at the display, the sway of the willow tree's branches hypnotic. Finally, softly, she said, "I didn't, I mean.... it just.... came out wrong."

"You mean there's a nice way to tell me I'm an obnoxious, arrogant, worthless ass?" He said, a little of his regular self seeping through the question.

"I never said you were worthless," Jane said with a smile, looking down at Neil.

He looked up and smiled in return adding, "You never said I was an ass, either," hoping she would catch his ad-lib.

She shrugged, "Eh. If the shoe fits..."

"Kick Neil with it?" he finished with a grin. Jane managed a small chuckle, turning to face Neil, sitting on the floor next to him.

She leaned towards him, her arms resting on her crossed legs. "How do you do it, Neil?" When he gave her an oddly confused look, she restated the question. "How do you go through life with a stupid grin on your face like nothing's ever wrong? Making a joke out of everything? You do realize we're in the middle of a war here, right?" She eased the seriousness of her questions with a gentle smile.

"Yeah, I know we're doin' the whole war thing. Trust me, that hasn't escaped my attention. But what's the point mopin' about it all the time? Boo-hooing the fact that 'Oh my goodness, I could die on my next mission,'" he pitched his voice higher, waving his arms spastically.

Neil sighed. "It's not such a mystery, Jane. Every mission...every day, I'm aware of the odds against me. Against ALL of us. I figure the Phantoms will get me sooner or later. So when I go, I'm gonna have a fresh memory of something good. Something physical that those bastards can't BEGIN to understand. Even if its just a third rate beer or casual sex with an old friend or a laugh at the irony of all this. It's something THEY can't have."

Jane hesitated, absorbing his words. "I understand. But you're wrong, Neil. We won't lose. We can't." Her words clear in her conviction.

Neil smiled. "I wish I had your confidence. Where do you get it, Jane?"

"It's like... faith, I guess. I know we can't lose because that alternative is just unthinkable. So I say it to myself everyday. Every mission."

"Say what?" Neil teased. "You got a good luck charm? Some talisman around your neck?" With this he feigned looking down her tank top. She slapped his hand away. "Ju Ju beads? A prayer?"

"A mantra, really," Jane said softly, looking ahead as if seeing something he could not. Neil quieted, respecting her openness.

She turned and looked him "I say it over and over when I see the Phantoms. When I feel the threat to our squad... to us..." Jane exhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Not this time." A smile, there then gone, graced her lips. She opened her eyes, toyed with the hem of her pants and whispered, "Not this time."

Neil swallowed. No clever comment on her simple, powerful faith crossing his lips.

"And it works," she smiled lightly, collecting herself.

Neil mimicked Jane's smile before quietly asking, "Jane? Do ya ever think... that uh... maybe you'd... that you...um... would go out with me? Um, sometime? Or maybe? Ever?" He kept his eyes from hers, his head ducked, adding a level of shyness to his own natural innocence.

With his eyes averted, Neil didn't see the smile Jane had to squelch. She bit her lower lip then sighed heavily, as though she were weary with the game Neil was playing. She brushed off her lap then stood, and held out a hand to Neil. He looked at the invitation, his eyes still hopeful. When he finally put his hand in Jane's, she hauled him up roughly and slapped a hand on his back as he steadied himself.

In her characteristic, business-as-usual voice, Jane replied, "Sorry, Neil. That's against regulation." A tight, sympathetic grin and another pat on the back, this time more gentle and Jane headed towards the exit. Neil never heard her whisper, "But that doesn't mean you hafta stop trying."